The ACCC. Warning Aussies about Hot Water Bottles since 1995

Thank God for the existence of the bloated bureaucracy we lovingly know as the ACCC.

The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission costs Australian taxpayers over 200 million dollars per year, and boy, are we getting our money's worth.

The ACCC is looking out for your needs, Australia.

Indeed, were it not for these heroes, the average Australian would be completely unaware of the complex dangers posed by the use of ...

Hot Water Bottles.

What's that, you say?!

You think using hot water bottles is a matter of "common sense"?

You think the federal government shouldn't be wasting time and taxpayer's money dealing with hot water bottles?

Well ... think again.

Hot water bottles cause 200 hospitalisations per year in Australia. That's right, 200 hospitalisations PER YEAR! That's 0.0009% of the Australian population.

Clearly we have a serious problem on our hands.

Yes, the overwhelming majority of these 200 hospitalisations involve mere scalds that could be easily treated at home, but, by golly, a good handful of them are serious burns that require an overnight hospital stay, or perhaps even longer!

As we approach yet another horror hot water bottle winter season here in Australia, I know what you're thinking.

'When will the suffering end?' ..... 'How much longer can we go on?'

Lucky for us, the ACCC are on the case. They have created this helpful video, ominously titled "Hot Water Bottles - The Hidden Dangers", complete with scary music and dramatic re-enactments of hot water bottle tragedies.

WARNING: THIS VIDEO IS NOT A PARODY
THIS IS AN ACTUAL ACCC VIDEO

Thankfully, when federal Labor came to power in 2008, they began regulating the production of hot water bottles to ensure they are made of government-approved materials, with a government-approved rubber thickness and government-approved stoppers.

Phew!

So the question now is "who is to blame?". Who has wrought this devastation?

The answer is obvious ..... corporations.

Those evil, profiteering, hot-water-bottle corporations.

"Companies". "Businessmen". "The Private Sector". Call them what you will.

What they really are ... is pure evil.

Thank Heaven we have civic-minded people like ACCC Deputy Chairman Peter Kell. He protects consumers from these greedy corporations who care not for the consumer, but only for their hot-water-bottle profits.

All these corporations do is eliminate competition, raise prices and lower safety standards.

I mean, it's not like monopolisation, price rises and poor safety standards could ever be caused by the government itself. Right?

Indeed the ACCC are the very people making sure that the Australian public is well aware that these problems are the fault of businessmen, not government.

Last year, when the carbon tax came into effect, Peter Kell threatened to fine businesses a million dollars if they said the carbon tax was raising prices beyond the pre-determined, state-sanctioned amount "calculated" by bureaucrats in Labor's Ministry of Truth. You know, the same bureaucrats who "calculated" the 2012-13 budget surplus.

Let's hope the ACCC continues to focus on important issues, like hot water bottle safety, rather than wasting time pointing out that consumers are being smashed with price increases, small business shut-downs and reduced competition, as a result of the government itself imposing a massive tax and regulatory burden.

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